


Where Is My Mind

by BeaSox



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Movie 1: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Self Confidence Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, suicide threat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 09:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12909447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaSox/pseuds/BeaSox
Summary: Newt grapples with the loneliness of his past while Tina fears for their future.





	Where Is My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Wattpad.

Newt stared at the horizen, watching the sky slowly melt into another color. He ran his hands through his hair as a feeling started to grow in the pit of his stomach. He was indefinitely familiar with it: loneliness. He was alone most of the time back in London; and his creatures weren't doing it for him just before he left. He would tend and care for each one, but he still felt a burning sense of emptiness deep within.

He didn't see what was wrong; he had Tina now. He should be happy, right? 

Wrong.

He held his head in his hands, thinking about her. The days seemed to blur together, each as painfully dull as the next. He wanted to see her.  
No, he needed to see her.

He tried to distract himself, maybe there was a creature he forgot to feed, but he'd already checked nearly ten times today. 

He found himself questioning what this feeling was more and more. 

Just be happy.

He was used to loneliness, it consumed him like a suffocating, warm blanket. He tried to claw his way out, but he just sank farther and farther down. He'd only been in New York three weeks before a mandatory case sent Tina on a last minute trip, and two days after she got back, Newt had to fly back to London for family matters.

He hadn't seen her much the past few days after he got back. She was working longer hours and was even more preoccupied when he did see her than usual.

The sky darkened, signifying the change of time. He sighed. Exactly two more hours until her shift ended and she was home. He desperately wanted to hold her forever.

He slunked upstairs, and somehow fell asleep in an awkward upright position on his living room couch. In the middle of the night, he felt soft breathing beside him. He smiled sadly to himself.  
He saw Tina sprawled next to him, her head nearly resting on his lap. He gently patted her hair, planting a loving kiss on her forehead. 

She smiled innocently in her slumber, stirring slightly. He observed her, drinking in her beauty in the darkness. 

~

Newt was reading a muggle newspaper, leaning agianst the fridge in his small-but-comfy kitchen. Tina dipped her head to peak at the back of the paper he was reading. 

"What are you doing," he asked, trying to swallow his smile.

"Reading and learning about muggle things," she said promptly, her eyes scanning an ad.

He felt his face heat up at the fact that she said "muggle" instead of "no-maj".  
He set down the paper.

"Hey! I was reading that," she protested, scrunching her face up in mock outrage.

He laughed, "You were not. You've already expressed how stupid you believe muggle news is. Nice try." He pulled her in.

She grinned, "What makes you happy?"

"You." He was happier than he'd ever been with Tina. She made the loneliness go away for a while. But what if it never left him?

Her eyes traveled to his lips, flicking back up onto his milky emerald eyes. "What else?"

"Erm, my creatures."

He leaned into her, but she pulled back laughing.

"Wait a moment," she said.

"Stop teasing me."

"Your birthday is coming up, and I don't know what to get you. C'mon, give me something to work with."

He was thoughtful for a moment. He had everything he wanted; his book, her, his creatures. It was all perfect.

"You know what I would love?"

"What?" She slipped her arms around his neck, their faces so close she could see her reflection in his glassy eyes.

"Be mine," he smiled, pressing his lips against hers. He gently held onto her waist as if she would disappear at any moment. 

The tea kettle let out a shrill whistle, and they both jumped.

"Shit!"  
"Swear jar," he motioned to an empty jam jar on the counter. "So far, she had added up nearly ten dollars in just nickels themselves. 

"You just want to see me fail," she sighed, tossing a coin into the overflowing jar. "Soon we'll need two jars."

"You made the tea," he pointed out, approaching the kettle.

"You're the Brit that drinks that sad excuse of bitter leaf water," she taunted, pouring a cup of coffee for herself.

"Thank you," he kissed her cheek delicately, "But I will never forgive you for what you've just said."

"Sure."

"Hey, Love?" He said, growing more serious.

"Yeah?" She asked, looking up from her steaming mug.

"I-I just was thinking about how we haven't seen much of eachother lately and maybe we could you know, travel. Um, together." He said, his gaze never leaving the floor.

"That sounds..perfect! I have plenty of vacation days stacked up," she explained.

"Really?" He asked, relieved.

"Yes! We can go anywhere, Newt."

He felt a big pressure be lifted off his back. He would be able to be alone with her for days, no distractions, or interuptions. The void that had been opened up in the extent of the last few weeks would be filled.

He sipped his tea and set it on the counter. He slid his arms around his waist. "Where do you want to go?"

She thought for a moment, "Maine."

He smiled, kissing her forehead. "Why Maine?"

"I don't know it's a bit close and I've never been to the ocean or even by it before."

"Me neither," he stroked her cheek lovingly. "So we'll go to Maine."

~  
Newt had found a hotel that seemed good enough, but he didn't know much about Maine. Queenie tagged along, accepting the two's pity over Jacob. He'd still hadn't remembered her.

The room smelled of perfume and the beds had an odd navy blue sailor stripe pattern. 

Tina laughed, dropping her suitcase of the bed, and kissing him on the cheek. "This is lovely."  
Their gazes traveled to the balconey, which had a glass sliding door. Outside, lay the beautiful turquoise ocean, crashing loudly. 

Outside, they soon reached the shore, after a horrendous amount of rock climbing. 

"Wow!" Tina looked out at the ocean, her eyes shining brightly.

Newt looked at her, in a big floppy hat and a white flowing sundress. She truly was beautiful. He reached out for her hand, clutching it thoughtfully. 

"What is it?" She said, never liking to be observed for too long.

"N-Nothing I just---" He slipped his free hand along her cheek, and pressed his lips against hers.

"You're just so stunning," he breathed, resting his forehead against hers. 

They leaned back in, their backs to the ocean. A gigantic wave crashed on top of them, salt water dripping into their eyes. 

"Holy hell!" Tina sputtered, shivering and peeling back wet hair from her eyes. "Don't you dare, Newton Scamander." She warned, seeing the usual shimmer in his eye when he was about to bring up the swear jar.

"Here." He picked her up bridal style, squinting to see through blurred vision.  

"Put me down!" She squealed in surprise, kicking.

He laughed, "Well, do you want to walk?"

"No. I'm cold."

They met up with Queenie at a restaurant, after changing into using their wands to dry off by the shore. She was rambling on about lobster. "I've never had seafood before, because of being in New York, but since were in Maine..have you ever had lobster, Newt?"

"Huh? Um, no me, neither." He looked, up distracted. 

"Teen has always fiercly rejected it, too."

"No way am I going to eat a meat raw, what you can have it perfectly fine cooked of steamed," she explained. "I don't see the appeal."

Newt looked up from his menu again, smiling.  
"Shut up, Newt."  
"I didn't say anything."  
"You're laughing at me."  
"Your logic is a tad irrational, that's all."  
"Raw fish is gross," she huffed. She glared at him as he chuckled softly. "You're baiting me now, aren't you!"

"You're cute when you're mad," he said, realized Queenie was present, and turned his attention to his menu, blushing beet red.

"You guys are adorable! I knew you two would work out."

~

Finally back at their room, Newt shut the door behind them. They read and analyzed a few brochures, but none looked too fascinating. Tina got up, sitting on his lap, facing him.

"Hello."

He smiled shyly, setting down his pamphlet. "Hello."

She cupped his face in her hands, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

Her hands ran through his messy hair. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt that she was wearing, slipping it off. She layed back, and he slid on top of her.

They pulled apart, his body still hovering over hers. "I love y--"

An earth shattering crack and screams echoed through the crisp night; sending chills through their spines. He slid off of her, handing her shirt while avoiding eye contact.

"What was that?" She choked, slipping the shirt back on.

"I don't know," he admitted, as they both raced for the door and down the stairs to the lobby. 

People rushed past them, screaming hysterics and curses. Newt grabbed Tina's hand to not lose her in the crowd. 

They reached the hotel entrance's grand doors, and peered out. A great beast was romping about in the distance, letting out a blood boiling roar. It was one unmistakeable to Newt.

"Nundu," they said in unison. He looked at her, her dark eyes glistening in the calm darkness. He fought the urge to hold her, because things needed to be done.


End file.
